just tell him i said nine months
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
