You really coming over, don't trick.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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