Porn is love you can see.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
