Dual....:-)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
