You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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