I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock deserves a montage
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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