Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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