So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
