I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
