Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you would pick up someone in the library
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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