No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
