three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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