I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
