Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
