When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
