Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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