I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
