sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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