You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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