He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
