Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
