She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will pee on everything he values.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
