you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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