Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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