O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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