This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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