Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
