They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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