you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
