Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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