I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
