I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
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I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
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I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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