Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize