P.S. I can't hear my feet
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
