yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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