omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
