in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
