Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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