Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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