OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
