The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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