You work out of a Hotel?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
