He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
