I am puke
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
