whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
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No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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