are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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