The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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