I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
