so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
