Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
