I like my sex mixed with concussions.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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