right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
