that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
