Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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