i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize