Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
