the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
