If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
