I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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