Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
